When U Give A Character A Phone
by NinjaInAnImaginaryLondon
Summary: This is what happens when you let the Inheritance Cycle characters have Androids. There may be some swearing, but it's mostly just randomness.
1. Roran is Bored

**Hey peeps. Sara here. **

Eragon: And me too!

**GET OUT of my author's note! *Locks Eragon in nearby convenient closet* Anyway, as I was saying, hi. This fanfic is just going to be pointless. It is an experiment to see what happens when you give the Inheritance Cycle characters expensive Android phones with unlimited internet access and unlimited… *beeping noise of phone going off* … texting. *Picks up phone, reads message* **

_From: Eragon: Let me out of the closet! Im dying in here u kno_

_**Reply to Eragon: Would u rather b locked in a SAFE?**_

_From: Eragon: ._

_**Reply to Eragon: I thought so.**_

**Ahem. Anyway, let's see what happens. By the way, all spelling errors/grammatical errors in the texts are there on purpose. They're text messages, after all.**

* * *

It was a beautiful day in Carvahall. Sadly, the Ra'zac were camping just outside of town and Roran was in the mountains hiding from them.

Horst's phone vibrated in his blacksmith's apron. He pulled it out, his deft metalworker's fingers navigating the complicated touchscreen like the pro he was. He had received a new message from Roran. It read:

_From: Roran: Get me out of these mts. Ill die of boredom if those stupid razac dont go away soon. Need 2 see Katrina again b4 dying of boredom. SAVE ME!_

Horst replied.

_Reply to Roran: Sorry, cant help u. if I leave now the razac will b suspicious. Will send some1 with more food l8r. dont die. Dying is bad. N dont keep txting, ull kill ur phone battery n u dont have ur solar charger with u!_


	2. Arya Is Bitchy

**And so the madness continues! Just to let'cha all know, the first chapter was just short because I didn't have much time and I was trying to eat while typing (not a good combination.) Yes, **maddiepattie**, I will be continuing this story (if you wanna call it that) spontaneously whenever I feel inclined to do so. I agree with you, **BrightWatcher**, my chapters should be (and will be) longer. **

**Also, this follows no storyline whatsoever. These scenes can take place anywhere and in any of the books in no particular order. So if you haven't read Inheritance yet then go do so, because a lot of scenes will be from that book cuz its AWESOME.**

**Wow, this AN is really long. **

**On with the story-thingy!**

**Oh, and by the way, I do not own the Inheritance Cycle-**

**Eragon in closet: THE HELL YOU DON'T!**

**-but Christopher Paolini does. Did anyone else hear that pesky noise, or was it just me?**

* * *

Eragon's training was going well. Well, it would be better if not for that pesky injury on his back, but since it couldn't be cured, then there wasn't much he could do about it. He was currently pacing back and forth in his tall, majestic wooden home in a tree in Ellesmera. Saphira was out hunting, and he couldn't go _talk_ to Arya without saying something ridiculously stupid and looking like a lovesick fool all over again.

He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a little rectangular thing, black in color, light in weight, and he hit a button on the top of it. The (presumed) front of the thing lit up, as if from its own inner glow. Touching his finger to the screen, he made the little squares on it move to the side to reveal more little squares. Each square had a word or name under it in the common tongue, although Eragon sometimes liked to switch it to the ancient language.

What was this funny looking little device he had? Was it magic? Was it destructive?

Nope. It was, in actuality, a phone. Android, to be precise. The little squares were apps! But how did Eragon get ahold of one of these thingies?

Actually, nobody knew. They were just there one day, next to the pillow of every single Alagaesian when they woke up on the Mid-Year's Day. They had all dreamed the same thing: Of how to use the device that was given them. Everyone benefited from this, even Galbatorix, although for some reason his had a sparkly pink case on it with fake jewels set in it, but that's a story for another time.

Anyway, Eragon was bored. So, he decided instead of talking to Arya, he would just text her. That way he could think about what he was saying before the message was sent.

_From: Eragon: Hey arya whts up? Im bored. Txt me back_

_Reply to Eragon from Arya: Wht do u want_

_Eragon: Im bored. Need 2 talk 2 some1. Th treehouse's boring but I cant leave cuz of my injury :( _

_Arya: 2 bad 4 u. *sarcasm*_

_Eragon: Thats mean_

_Arya: Wah. Deal w/ it_

_Eragon: :( _

_Arya: dont give me that face_

_Eragon: ~_~_

_Arya: THAT'S IT. THIS WAR! ^_^ _

_Arya: *_*_

_Arya: 0_o _

_Eragon: … Whts ur problem 2day jeez_

_Arya: SHUT YO FACE DAMNIT_

_Eragon: Some1s being bitchy…_

_Arya: Screw u_

_Eragon: *shakes head*_

20 minutes later…

_Eragon: Hey u still there? _

_Eragon: Hello?_

_Eragon: Well that was pointless._

After Eragon finished his conversation with Arya (if you could call it a conversation), he decided to take a nap. What else was there to do? Nothing.

* * *

**Well? Any better, worse? **

**Eragon (from the interior of the Convenient Closet): WORSE!**

**Me: SHUT UP ERAGON *soundproofs closet* Heh… heh… MUAHAHAHAHAHA I WIN**

**Anyway, please read and review. Please. I'll let Eragon out of his solitary confinement if you give me 10 reviews! It's not too much to ask, just ten reviews… for Eragon's sake ;)**


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